Out of the blue in the car:
Jake: We should get a pig.
Me: What would we do with him?
Jake: Your choices are: We could ride him, or we could use him as a sofa, or have him for dinner.
(personally, I’ve always wanted a pig sofa. NOT.)
Dave: Would he come sit at the table with us. Generally speaking, your mom doesn’t allow animals at the table.
Jake: No, we’d get the meat out of him. Yum!!!
Me: Where would we put him?
Jake: Under a tree, with a stone on top of it. And a cross. He’d need a cross.
(Yes, I was thinking pig pen. He was thinking grave yard. Angel of darkness, pig graveyard, maybe I should be worried…)
Me: No, where would he live when he was alive?
Jake: I don’t know. It doesn’t really matter, we’re just going to eat him. Maybe the chickens would like to share their home with him.
Nate: listen to me whistle.
Dave: That’s a nice whistle. Maybe you could practice until you are very good and then you could whistle while you work.
Nate thinks for a moment: No, I think not.
Me: Jake! Get down! My couch is NOT a jungle gym.
Jake (dejectedly): I wish it was.