The Power Miser strikes again!!

I’m amazing, really rather amazing.  Not to brag or anything.  My power miser capabilities really are quite astonishing.

Last week I was paying bills, the dreaded bills.  I was getting more and more depressed as I paid each one and the amount in my checking account dwindled smaller and smaller.  I was ready to start reaching for some chocolate when I came across my PG&E bill.  It was a whopping $35.42.  Yes, I’ll let you be amazed and shocked.  You can pick your jaw up off of the floor.  I’ve never had a gas and electric bill so low.  I paid it and hoped that PG&E wouldn’t catch their mistake.  Then I called everyone I knew and bragged a little.

Yesterday, the PG&E guy knocked on the door.  It seems our new smarter reader wasn’t sending signals back to the home base or something.  I silently cursed and let him in to check it.  I thought about slipping him some of the amazing cake that McKayla had made as a bribe.  I called my friend:

Me:  I’ve been caught.  The PG&E guy is checking the meter.  Seems it’s not sending signals to the home ship or something.

Her:  I knew it!  It’s impossible for anyone to have a $35 bill.

Me:  (a little indignant)  Hey, I only use compact flourescents and last month we didn’t even use the heater.  It’s possible.

Her: Sure, We’ll see when your new $200 bill comes.

I hung up with her and called PG&E.  I must talk in such a way that my voice commands are not recognizable.  I say REPREEESENTATIVE very slowly and the computer comes back with “Did I hear you correct?  There is an outage in your area?”  No, REPREEESENATIVE, “okay, you are calling about starting service?”  At this point I just start pressing 0 with vigor hoping that eventually I’ll put in the magic combination to get a human on the line.

After fighting the automative system for ten minutes I finally got a representative. I tell her how my bill was abnormally low.  We check the meters and she tells me that yes, my meter was misread.  I’m due a $9.42 refund!

Yep, I’m amazing at power conservation.  It’s kinda like I should give a seminar or something.  For now, until they figure out that my meters are broken or something, I am going to hold a tight grubby fist on my Power Miser crown.