This morning I watered our grass, like I do every morning at the butt crack of dawn. I have to go out the front door because we have the back yard lawn cordoned off like a police crime scene, only tighter. We have a snow fence and all the lawn furniture on their sides near the bottoms of the temporary fence. All to keep the dog out. It turns out the snow fence really keeps Chanel off the grass not the dog. He likes to sit on the grass and mock me as I walk around the house.
As I’m watering the grass and thinking about the long, long day ahead, a small hand touches me and makes me yelp. Jacob is standing next to me. The only way he could be in the back yard is if he teleported. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have magical powers. More likely he walked out the front door and around the house. The thought gives me a mini heart attack. I have lots of those.
I ask him where Nathaniel is. He’s suddenly struck mute.
I hear Marshall and Michael arguing in the kitchen. I ask them where Nathanael is. They ignore me. I ask with a little more snap in my voice. They mumble they don’t know. My heart drops to the pit of my stomach.
I know he couldn’t be missing for more than five minutes. He was in his bed when I started watering. I hadn’t been in the back yard long.
We go looking in the house.
My neighbor brings my two-year-old, clad only in a diaper, at 7:00 am home. He was standing in front of our house. If only I would have walked back around the house, not knocking over the snow fence to get in the back door to look for my baby.
I’m thankful we don’t live on a busier street. I’m thankful our neighbor recognized him. I’m thankful she brought him home instead of driving off to work. I’m thankful he’s home.
Dave went to Babies R Us and bought lots of door locks and baby proofing gear. I’m sure though, it’ll be like our dog. The babies will be outside mocking me while I try to squeeze the knob, press the button, and clap three times, all in vain to open the door.
If that happens, I’m buying a door alarm. When the door opens it will screech bloody murder. Our neighbors will hate us, but no one will be wandering the streets. Well, except for the hookers, drug users, and zombies.*
It would be cool as long as they were slow zombies. Like the zombies of the 1970s. When zombies got fast (like “another 28 days”) they get pretty scary. Sure, you don’t mind feeding them hookers and drug users, but pretty soon, you are crouching in some apartment barricaded by a pile of shopping carts and its not so much fun any more.
Im so glad your neighbor found him and he was safe and sound. I honestly LOVE that the Zombies are going to get all the drug users and hookers off the street too 🙂
I’m happy that he’s safe. There is nothing worse than the split second when you lose sight of them or don’t know where they are and oh the relief when you get them back!
Good Luck in trying to work the baby proofing stuff. I still can’t get the lock off the fridge and Liv is now almost 7!!!!!
Really Bro, I’d expect you to do better research.
See also:
http://www.aleph.se/andart/archives/2007/01/zombie_evolutionary_epidemiology.html