Archive for May, 2010

Dear Child,

Please trust me when I tell you that you are tired.  I am not lying to you.  I promise that you are really tired.  I know you don’t think you need a nap, but you do.   Your little brain is growing and developing at an incredible rate.  Just yesterday, you learned how to scale the pantry shelves to get my chocolate chip stash.  Your little brain needs the rest.

I am not putting you to bed so that I can watch scooby doo and have lots of fun while you sleep.  I promise you aren’t missing out on much.  Really, I’m sure the tv won’t even be turned on.  We’ll all be doing exciting things like cleaning the house and finishing up our learning.

I am not putting you to bed so that I can eat all of the cupcakes and drink all of the juice.  I promise. But after an afternoon like today, I may break out the vodka and declare it 5 o’clock even if it’s only noonish.

Sweet child, when I call you, I’d appreciate if you’d answer.  Because you are my wanderer.  You are my adventurous Dangerous child.  You are the one who decided to walk around the block and take your brother with you.  You are the one who has scaled the stairs from the outside.  So when you don’t answer, I become terrified.  I immediately send the troops in mass to look for you.   And when we can’t find you, I always wonder how soon is too soon to call the police? When we do the second search we look under things and behind things and in the small spaces, because you are a hider.  You’re a darn good hider.  I don’t find it funny to find you hiding behind a door being very still and quiet.  I don’t even find it vaguely amusing.  Please stop.

I definitely don’t find it very amusing to find you asleep where you were hiding, especially at 4 in the afternoon.  A nap at 4pm means a cranky child at dinner.  A cranky kid at dinner means a miserable evening.  A miserable evening seems to drag on and on.

Please, tomorrow when I tell you it’s nap time, trust me.  I know what I’m talking about.



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This is our house.  Do you see those ugly round bushes in the yard?  I hate those bushes.

I hate how they are green and yellow.  They always seem like they are stuck between summer and fall.  Or maybe they are really old.  Instead of bushes going gray like hair, they go yellow.  They must have teenage daughters too.

I hate that they are the home to thousands of spiders. It’s like a spider metropolis.  One positive, during the Halloween season, we don’t have to decorate.  The spider webs are spooky enough.

Last year was the “year of the backyard”.  This year is the “year of the front yard”.  We are massacring those bushes, one limb at a time.  We take no prisoners, and leave no leaf behind.  There is a bush annihilation going on in our front yard.  We aren’t prejudice among them.  Pretty much anything that isn’t a tree has its days numbered.

It is a very slow battle though.  There isn’t much time for decimating bushes with dave working, me homeschooling, and baseball season in full swing.

It’s also slow because of the bushes guerrilla warfare tactics.  We attack a bush, the others move the sprinkler pipes.  We break a sprinkler pipe and have to stop the carnage to repair the pvc.  It buys them some time, but stops their water supply.  Nobody wins.

We’ve torn out the bushes by the garage and planted raspberries.  We tore out the bush by the front window and planted blackberries.

For months our yard has looked like a war zone.  We’ve had butchered bushes, gaping holes, and the carnage of the stumps lying around.

Dave bribed the kids with gamestop and ice cream to get the last bush out.  They recruited their friends.

They dug and trenched under the bush.  They rocked it back and forth.  They cursed it.  They stood around and looked at it.

And after a very long day, they finally tore it out.  They left it on the sidewalk for a few hours.  I’m sure it was to scare the other bushes.  To let them know that resistance is futile.

After many, many, many weekends,  we’ve attacked and annihilated the bushes by the driveway, repaired the sprinklers in that section and planted blueberries.

Only 27 more bushes to go…

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