The first thing Dave said to our Doctor when we found out we were having twins was
Who’s fault is this!?!
Our doctor, a very smart man, didn’t place blame (he knew it would be the huge and hormonal pregnant woman he’d be dealing with weekly for the next 9 months. “These things happen. blah blah blah. Blessing. blah blah blah. Science. blah blah blah. Statistics”
We both came to our own conclusions though.
Dave is pretty sure that my ovaries where a little perturbed for being neglected for so long. It had been 4 long years since I let them free to do their thing. They had been guarded by the IUD, which works by magic. Yep, I said magic. It even says it in the little pamphlet that they give you. “Works by magic.” Okay, it doesn’t say that really. It says something about not knowing exactly why it is so effective, but it is. I say magic. Or maybe all the little sperm get to the IUD on their long swim to fertilization and they’re distracted by the shiny coils. “ooo, something shiny. Stop and look.” And then they all die, right there, at the feet of the IUD.
Anyways, my poor ovaries, pissed off from the gate keeper, were dropping eggs like candy. Therefore overacting and giving us twins.
I on the other hand, believe that what really happened was Dave’s sperm are a little bit militant. His weapon of mass fertilization sent millions of little sperm out. En mass they held up my ovaries. With little flagella guns, they threatened my poor ovaries that had been alone for so long. It really was no fault of my ovaries, they were forced to drop an extra egg. What else could they do under the circumstances. They were surrounded by millions of scary sperm.
I just don’t know how I’d feel telling people about my blog Weapon of Mass Fertilization or maybe Greedy little sperm, so OverActiveOvaries it is.
Those horrible sperm! Your poor ovaries are going to need serious therapy!
love it! lol.
LOL! very cute!
[…] may be a little bit too much information, but I’ve recently had my magic removed. We aren’t trying for a baby, but my body just needed a little […]