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Archive for September, 2010

There are lots of things I dislike about being a parent.  I dislike feces.  I dislike throw up.  I dislike cleaning up after them.  I dislike the back talk.  I dislike discipline, even when they are acting like complete hellions and deserve a good discipline, I still hate it.  I think all of those things are a given.  I’ve yet to find one mom who says “What are you talking about?  I love when Johnny throws up all down my shirt!”

There are lots of things that I didn’t mind in the beginning.  Things like when at six-months the baby said my name over and over again.  Precious.  Heart melting.  But now, at three when my name is repeated incessantly, it makes me want to scream.

Or the tooth fairy.  I loved being the tooth fairy on the very first tooth.  It was exciting.  There was glitter fairy dust all over the bed and dresser.  Foreign money was left because the tooth fairy was a world traveler.  A shiny new gold dollar covered in dust was left behind.  Of course this was on the very night of the lost tooth.

But then the teeth kept falling out. And the glitter was lost and I don’t have an endless supply of gold dollars.  And that was kid one, before all of the scouts, awanas, baseball, homeschooling.  I’m hoping to phase out the tooth fairy before kid 5.

Poor Mike.  Lost a tooth on Monday.

He asked me where he should put his tooth.  (I don’t remember this conversation at all) Supposedly I said on his shelf.  I’d like to say the tooth fairy couldn’t find it.  In all honestly, she forgot. I used the couldn’t find it excuse any ways. “It’s protocol that it goes under your pillow.  She probably couldn’t find it.  No tooth.  No money.”

Day 2:

Mike:  The tooth fairy forgot again!  I even put it under my pillow!

Me:  Maybe she was afraid she’d step on Marshall.

Mike:  I thought she had wings and could fly?

Me:  I have no idea!  I’ve never even seen the tooth fairy.  I am not knowledgeable about imaginary creatures.  I didn’t see that Tooth Fairy movie.

Day 3

Mike:  I can’t find my tooth!!!

Me:  That’s too bad!

Mike:  I need the money!

This resulted in quite a bit of time searching for the elusive tooth. He was sent to bed rather disappointed.

In the morning Mike found a small note and four shiny quarters.

what may you ask is in his hand?

Mike:  How will she find?  How deep do I bury it?  Why the peach tree?  If I put it under my pillow will I get more money?  Is the Easter Bunny in charge of the tooth fairies?

I should have just left quarters.

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