Those that say you can’t take it with you never saw a car packed for a vacation trip.  ~Author Unknown

Note:  This all happened in the past.  Due to my delusions of grandeur and my lack of trust in all of my internet readers, I refused to write about our 18 day vacation to Florida while we were actually in Florida, or in route to Florida.   I’d hate to come home from the “happiest place on earth” to find that one of you decided to raid my priceless collection of army men and magazines.  So for safety’s sake, I’ve been away for the last few weeks.  At least this time, my absence can be justified.

Like everything, I procrastinated about our trip.  Dave has been talking about seeing the shuttle launch for at least a year.  We’ve toyed with the idea of taking the “great American road trip” with all of the kids.  We fantasized about Disney world, but we never really made any plans.  We picked a launch date, November 1st, and then I promptly ignored it.  About 2 weeks before our plan departure, I booked a hotel.  About a week before we left I thought about planning the trip.  This is when I realized that people plan a trip to Disney world a year in advance!  It amazes me that people can plan like that.

Vacation departure T-3 days

Why is it when I go on vacation I feel the incessant need to clean?  Dave told me that he could think of lots of better things to do with my day than organize the pantry and scrub cabinets.

Me: “But what will the robbers think when they break into our home?  I don’t want them to think we are slobs!”

Dave:  “I think we should really mess up the house, that way when the robbers come, they’ll think that we’ve already been robbed.”

Vacation departure T-2 days

This day was spent doing copious amounts of laundry.  I’m constantly amazed with how much laundry 5 children can generate.  It was also spent washing sheets because, not only do I want those robbers to think we have a clean house but, if they decide to stay the night, I’d like them to have fresh sheets.

Vacation departure T-1 day

I spent today finishing all of that laundry.  I sat down and made a packing list.  I figured all of those overachievers who plan their vacations a year in advance make lists, I should too.  All of the things we could possibly need on a two-week vacation to Disney World.  I was prepared for all types of weather.  Sunscreen and hats for hot weather.  Rain ponchos and sweatshirts for cold weather.  I wrote a master list for the car ride and  Disneyworld and a list for the shuttle launch.  I also wrote a food list and a clothing list.  Then it was time to do all of the last-minute shopping.   I spent a small fortune before we even left our home town.   Everyone needed some kind of clothing.  There are all of those little things that add up, things like batteries and toothpaste, glow in the dark necklaces and cat food.

Also, the day before the trip I realized that we would be taking a 6,000 mile trip in my car.   I thought it would be prudent to at least get her oil changed and tires rotated.   If I was one of those people who planned for this trip a year in advance, I probably would have had a dvd player installed too.  But I’m not.  Instead I got an audio book from the library.  It’s like a movie, but with your imagination!

And then I had to shop for all of the snack food for the trip.  I felt the need to tell the guy at Costco “I usually don’t buy all of this junk food.  It’s a rarity that I even buy go-gurts.  I swear I’m not one of those mom’s that buys individual sliced apples, I normally am perfectly capable of cutting an apple for my kid.  But we’re going on a long trip and I just need something to throw at them in the car when they start to get loud.”

Vacation departure!

I was hoping to leave by noon.  We left around 5pm.  Turns out the best part of procrastination, you always forget something.  Important things like diet coke,  peanut butter and Halloween costumes.  We ran out to buy an army man costume, a death skater costume (because as long as it has a gory mask, Marshall will be happy) and a Dorothy costume.  So much for my whole Peter Pan theme.  Then we needed to make a last-minute library run.  I made the kids clean and vacuum the van, because at least we’d start our trip with a clean van.  Then the hardest part of the trip, trying to fit all of the crap that 7 people may possibly need in a 2 week period.  I was prepared for pretty much anything.  If catastrophe struck, we were good to live out of the van indefinitely.

We drove to my parent’s house in Southern California, a short 350 mile, 5 hour, jaunt.  The minute we pulled out of the driveway the kids were clambering for movies in the car and snack food and fast food.  We forced them to look out the windows and, according to Marshall, starve.  If this was a taste of the next 3,000 miles, I wasn’t sure we could make it.