ODE TO MY KITCHEN AID
IN THE STYLE OF: STEPHEN DOWLING BOTS
BY Mark Twain
did you go up in firey sparks?
did you expire with a puff of smoke?
did this baker mourn with sad remarks
at the discovery that you were broke?
No; such was not the fate of
my old and trusty Kitchen Aid
‘Twas not from some catastrophe
from this kitchen you did bade
No hand was caught among the blade
Nor electrical fire caused your break
No nut and bolt soup was being made
No concrete was anyone trying to make.
But still you left me with woe
when no longer you would turn,
when you were stuck only spinning air on low,
‘Twould be better if you’d burn
A bowl full of bready dough,
With flour, sugar, water and some yeast
And yet you would not go
Not in the very least.
I tried unplugging the cord,
I even tried giving you a bath.
I prayed to the gracious Lord
I even called upon his wrath.
But still you would not mix or beat,
You just stand still and hum
I think soon the trash you shall greet
For you and I, we’re done.
Great ode love! However, taht happend to ours so we phoned the makers, paid $20 to post it and they fixed for $50. A hell of a lot cheaper than buying a new one as a new one is $600 here!
So sad to read… I know you don’t like getting gifts that are for your house but maybe…..
LOL. This is probably my favorite blog post ever.