the elephant and the mummy

We left cubscouts with two crying preschoolers.  They were upset because they didn’t get a second cookie.  Or maybe it was a third or fourth cookie. I tried my favorite parenting technique.  Distraction.

Me:  Shhh.  I’m looking for a wild animal!  Be quite!  I’m trying to find the resident coyote.

Nate: I don’t like the coyote.  He scares me.

(I’m pretty sure that Nathaniel has never seen the resident coyote, because if he did, he’d cease to be afraid of him.  He is easily mistaken for a scraggly mutt rather than the ferocious beast with blood dripping from his razor sharp canines.)

Dave:  Nathaniel what do coyotes eat?

Nate:  Birds.  These things that are long and round and worm shaped.  And they are worms. Rabbits.

Dave:  Are those things big or small?

Nate:  small

Dave:  Are you big or small?

Nate:  small

Dave:  But are you bigger than a bird or a worm or a rabbit?

Nate:  Yes.  I am much bigger.

Dave:  See you don’t have to worry, a coyote will not eat you.

Jake:  Don’t’ forget they eat dead animals.

Dave:  That’s right.  If they found a squirrel that was run over by a car they might eat that.

Nate:  What about a boy who was run over by a car?  would they eat that?

Me:  No, if you were run over by a car we would take you to the hospital.  We wouldn’t leave you in the middle of the road.

Nate:  I still don’t want to look for a coyote.

Me:  Okay, what should we look for?  A cougar?  A rabbit?

(take in mind that it’s already dark, because up here next to the North pole, we don’t get much sunshine)

Nate:  I want to look for an elephant.  A cute and cuddly elephant with a trunk.

Jake:  Elephants don’t live in Washington!  This is not their habitat!

Nate:  Maybe he is a lost elephant. He could be looking for his mommy.  Let us look for the lost elephant.

Jake:  Elephants would not be lost in Washington.  They live in the jungle.  This is not a jungle!  This is the forest!  Elephants DO NOT live in the forest.

Nate:  Maybe he lived in the zoo and he is lost.  Baby elephant!  Baby Elephant!  Are you lost?

Jake:  (clearly deciding he can’t argue with him and is going to give up)  You know what you’d have to look for it this was the desert?

Me:  What?

Jake:  Mummies.

Me: Mummies?

Jake:  Yes!  If you saw sand and pyramids, there’s definitely mummies near by, and you better watch out.  That’s something to be scared of.