Posts Tagged ‘gaming’

I have this looooong list of possible topics I should blog about.  I keep a little file on my laptop of the funny things my kids say and do.  It’s a list I don’t share on facebook, because I need to hold back some material if I ever decide to write a blog.  Every time I add something new I think about actually logging into wordpress and writing something and then more pressing things require my attention.

Things like repeatedly feeding the masses of hungry mouths that seem to be hungry the moment they leave the table.  I think I might start teaching my children to expand their culinary skills outside of pancakes, waffles, and quesadillas and scrambled eggs, and then I will stop cooking all together.

It’s also possible that the lure of cleaning my house and doing the monotonous job of laundry always pulls me away.  Never mind, no one would believe that.

Or maybe it’s the latest book I’m reading that is so much more enticing than actually putting finger to keyboard.  I started pinning the books I have read in 2012 on Pinterest.  Currently, I’ve read more than 60 books.   I had no idea that I read so much.  Before you get all jealous, you should go check out the list of books,  but be sure not to judge me too much.  I guess it was the year of zombies, vampires and smut.  I’d like to say that’s not typical, but obviously it is.

Without further ado, enjoy the hilarity.

We’re classy

We only have two rules for what you can wear for church.  (1) A shirt with a collar.  (2) No holes in your pants.

Sometimes, these rules lead to an exciting outfit combination. I know you love those black and gray plaid pants combined with the red and white shirt.  This was also paired with rain boats.  It was stellar at Sunday School.


For whatever reason, Boy Scout of America has decided that every registered person in scouts NEEDS a magazine.  Dave and I each get Scouting magazine and both Marshall and Michael get Boy’s Life.  They come bundled together in a shrink wrapped package monthly.  I disperse them throughout the house (aka in various bathrooms).  Personally, I never read them (it might have something to do with the 63 books I’ve read this year).  It turns out that I’m the only one in our family who does not.

McKayla:  Yes!  The new Boy’s Life magazine.  I love Boy’s Life.

Dave:  yeah, it’s a pretty good magazine.  Lots of girls read it.

McKayla:  I always read the “Scouts saving lives” section and then if the guy is cute I’ll go add him on Facebook.


Continuing on the scouting theme:

Marshall:  I’m really glad that I’m in scouts.

Me:  Me too.  Why are you glad?

Marshall:  They’re teaching me good life skills.  If I decide to be homeless I can totally pack a backpack full of all the necessary essentials.  Really, everything a homeless guy needs is right here on my back.

I’m not sure if Boy Scouts of America wants to go with the slogan, “Teaching Boys how to survive being homeless for over 100 years!”


McKayla:  Can I invite some people over this weekend.

Mike interjects:  Yes, as long as it’s less than 2.

(this still cracks me up.  We were all so surprised by his quick wit)


Recently Nathaniel and Jacob have started playing Lego Harry Potter on the xbox.  I don’t think they have any concept of the rules of the game, the object or how to actually win, but they have a great time doing it.  For those of you who don’t know, the XBOX Kinect has voice commands.  Theoretically, you can control the whole system with your voice.  I can browse the internet by saying, “XBOX BING ‘The Walking Dead'” and lots of movies and games will pop up at the sound of my voice.  We frequently browse and turn off our system with this method.

Nate:  Mommy!  Mommy!  Hurry come quick we can’t get off this level.

Me:  Who is the expert at Xbox?  Definitely not me.  (I was thinking he’d go to Marshall or Michael)

Nate: “oooooo  I have an idea!”  He runs into the other room. “XBOX!  GET US OUT OF THIS LEVEL”


Me (during some reading to the boys):  What are skills?

Jake:  I know!  They’re like bones, bones in your head.

Nate:  No, those are skulls.  It’s like nails.  They are long and twisty (he proceeds to turn in a circle) and you need a skill driver.

Maybe I should have their hearing checked.

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Oh, Gamestop, how I loathe you.  There are many reasons that make you my absolutely least favorite place to go with a kid.

I don’t particularly like that it doesn’t matter if we know exactly what we want before we step into the store, when we get inside we ended up spending ten times longer there than we intended.  When I give the “I’m ready to go” warning, it still takes another 40 minutes.  I guess I should be glad that my kids like to be informed consumers, but the monotony of them having to look up every single game on your computer drives this nongamer momma crazy!

I am not the biggest fan of your trade back policy.  It entices young boys everywhere with it’s 5cents on the dollar pay offs.  If you’re 10 and out of money but want a new game you can just bring 20 of your already played games in and trade them in for one game!  Such a deal! I’ve taken to not allowing any games that anyone might like to play, ever in their whole entire lives, be allowed to be traded in, regardless of ownership.  I’ve also taken to setting prices BEFORE we go to the store.

Me:  What is your sale price for Lego Star Wars III?

Mike:  Um, $10.

Marshall:  You’re never going to get $10.

Mike:  Well, maybe $5 then.

Me:  How much can you buy it for?

Mike:  I don’t know, probably $15.

Me:  So, you bought it for $15, and you’re going to sell it for $5.  Sounds like a great idea.  What if you want to play it again?  Or if you’re brothers want to play it.  Then you’ll have to buy it again.  Essentially you’ll spend $25 on this game. I think that’s a terrible idea.

Gamestop Guy:  Okay, for b17, I’ll give you .43 cents  and for Star Wars I’ll give you $6.74.

Me:  Totally worth it!

(He was so jaded by 3 of his games being worth less than a $1 he didn’t sell anything)

Gamestop, I also dislike your Power Up card.  It always suckers me into spending more money.

This past week the boys were trying to figure out a way to get a new xbox game.  They pooled their money, went through all of their video games and set aside ones they were willing to trade in.  They went online and researched games.  Then they decided to log on to the Power UP website to print off a coupon with their accumulated points.  They couldn’t log on to the website.  We tried every email password in our house.  Finally, I made them call Gamestop.

Marshall:  Can’t you do it?

Me:  I could, but I’m not the one who wants to buy a game.

Marshall: Forget it.  I don’t want a coupon.

Mike:  Give me the phone.  I’ll call. (Mike is definitely Marshall’s Aaron to his Moses.  He’s always willing to do the talking.)

We practiced for quite some time:

Me:  Say “I have forgotten which email address I used to set up my Power UP card.

Mike:  Okay, “I’ve forgotten which Power up email address.

Me:  No, Say “I have forgotten which email address I used to set up my Power UP card.

Mike:  I don’t know my email address.

Me:  Say “I have forgotten which email address I used to set up my Power UP card.

Mike:  I don’t know how to login to my email address.

Me:  Say, exactly this. “I have forgotten which email address I used to set up my Power UP card.

Finally, Mike was confident enough to call.  He dialed the number and started dancing.

Mike:  I love this song.  It’s amazing! Hold on, let me put it on speaker phone for you guys.

It was elevator musak.

After about 5 minutes he hung up.

Mike:  This is stupid and taking too long.

Me:  Great! You’ve just lost your place in line.  Now you’ll have to wait twice as long.

Mike:  Fine.  (he calls back)  Yes!  My favorite song again!!!

Finally someone gets on the phone. He had a very thick English accent.  Between the english accent and Mike’s articulation there was a bit of a language barrier.  It was on speaker phone so that we could hear the whole conversation.  The poor guy.

Poor Guy:  Top of the morning to ya!  (Okay, he didn’t really say that.)  How are you doing?

Mike:  I’m doing great.

Poor Guy:  Wonderful.  How may I help you.

Mike:  I don’t know what my email address is to log on.  (We all clapped for mike)

Guy:  Okay, sir I can help you with that.  What is your Power UP number.

(mike reads it to him)

Wonderful.  Okay, I have found it.  I just need to ask you some questions.  What is your favorite video game?

Mike:  Please hold on, I’m thinking (and he tiptoes into the room where Dave is)

(whispering)Dad, what’s your favorite video game?

he yells to the guy:  “HOLD ON!  I’M STILL THINKING!”

Dave:  I don’t know, you guys set it up.  What’s your favorite video game?

Marshall into the phone:  Madden 10!  It’s Madden 10!

Poor Guy:  Yes, that is correct.  Okay the email address associated with your account is xxxx@xxxxxx.

Mike:  I know.

Poor Guy:  Please log in with that email address and your password.

Mike:  Yes, but it won’t let us log in with that.

Poor Guy:  Walks him through the whole process.

Mike:  I know but I can’t.

Poor Guy:  Walks him through the whole thing.

Dave:  Ask him to reset the password.

Mike:  Can you log in for me?



GUY:  Oh, yes.  I can reset the password.  I will send you an email with that information.

Mike:  I haven’t gotten it yet.

Guy:  Please be patient.

Mike:  Not yet.

Guy:  Please wait.

Mike:  Did you send it yet?

Guy:  I’m working on it.

Mike:  How about now.

Guy:  I will put you on hold for a short while.

Finally, Dave picked up the phone.  The poor guy was thoroughly relieved to hear another adult’s voice.

Though you win every other round, I think this one goes to me.

Of course, after this I was forced to accompany two boys to gamestop with their $15 coupon and spend an hour aimlessly wandering the store.  After nixing all the games rated T and M, I finally convinced them to buy Wipeout for the Kinect.  Negotiation terms ended up with me paying the difference.  We shall call it a tie.


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