Me: Nate and Jake! Please go check to see if the chickens laid any eggs.
I find myself constantly keeping an ear out for the loud clucking which sometimes signals a chicken laying an egg. Sometimes it signals nothing. I think they know we come running when they get noisy. Yes, they are training us well. I am hoping that eventually the ladies will become more regular about their laying times.
Nate: Nope. The chickens didn’t poop any eggs! And I’m not eating the chicken’s eggs.
Me: Why?
Nate: Because there is poop all over them.
Me: No there isn’t.
Nate: When they poop them out they get poop on the eggs.
Me: Nate, they don’t poop eggs, they lay them. They do not come out of their butts.
Nate: I’m still not eating them.
***
We were trying to pick a movie to watch at the movie theater, which is quite a big deal over here. Since we don’t have network tv, we really have no idea what is out and what might be good. We were watching all of the previews online for all the movies rated PG and below. At the end of the the trailer for Brave, the announcer asks “If you could change your faith, would you?”
Jake: I wouldn’t.
Me: I like that answer. Why wouldn’t you change your fate?
Jake: Well, what kind of feet would I get? I like my feet. What if I got really ugly feet like the chickens.
***
I bought a flea collar for Frank. Inadvertently, I purchased a purple one. He’s stylish, channeling his inner diva.
After I put it on the cat, he went outside to join the boys in tormenting loving the bunny.
I walked outside to see Jacob swinging the flea collar around like a lasso.
Me: WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!
Jake: Look what I found on Frank! How do you think he got this? (at the kitty strip club? What kind of question is that?)
Me: I put it on him.
Jake: But why? It is purple? Frank is a boy. Why did you give him a girl necklace?
Me: It is a flea collar. It will keep the fleas away. That is poison. Go wash your hands RIGHT now WITH SOAP!
(Jacob comes back sobbing)
Me: Why are you crying?
Jake: I love Frank, I don’t want him to die.
Me: He’s not going to die. He is completely safe.
Jake: But I can never pet Frank again.
Me: You can still pet him.
Jake: But then I have to wash my hands all the time. No thank you!
And the next 4 hours were filled with a nonstop barrage of flea collar questions and tattling on Nathaniel for touching the flea collar. I’m pretty sure our bathroom hasn’t seen so much action since we had baby chickens.
Jake: MOM!!! NATE TOUCHED THE FLEA COLLAR AND HE WON’T WASH HIS HANDS!!!
Me: Jake. Stop tattling. He will be fine.
About twenty minutes later I found Jake on his bed crying.
Me: Why are you crying now?
Jake: How long until Nate dies? Do you think it will be today?
Me: NATE! GO WASH YOUR HANDS RIGHT NOW! WITH SOAP!!!
It’s been a long week.
Overactiveovaries 