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Oh, Gamestop, how I loathe you.  There are many reasons that make you my absolutely least favorite place to go with a kid.

I don’t particularly like that it doesn’t matter if we know exactly what we want before we step into the store, when we get inside we ended up spending ten times longer there than we intended.  When I give the “I’m ready to go” warning, it still takes another 40 minutes.  I guess I should be glad that my kids like to be informed consumers, but the monotony of them having to look up every single game on your computer drives this nongamer momma crazy!

I am not the biggest fan of your trade back policy.  It entices young boys everywhere with it’s 5cents on the dollar pay offs.  If you’re 10 and out of money but want a new game you can just bring 20 of your already played games in and trade them in for one game!  Such a deal! I’ve taken to not allowing any games that anyone might like to play, ever in their whole entire lives, be allowed to be traded in, regardless of ownership.  I’ve also taken to setting prices BEFORE we go to the store.

Me:  What is your sale price for Lego Star Wars III?

Mike:  Um, $10.

Marshall:  You’re never going to get $10.

Mike:  Well, maybe $5 then.

Me:  How much can you buy it for?

Mike:  I don’t know, probably $15.

Me:  So, you bought it for $15, and you’re going to sell it for $5.  Sounds like a great idea.  What if you want to play it again?  Or if you’re brothers want to play it.  Then you’ll have to buy it again.  Essentially you’ll spend $25 on this game. I think that’s a terrible idea.

Gamestop Guy:  Okay, for b17, I’ll give you .43 cents  and for Star Wars I’ll give you $6.74.

Me:  Totally worth it!

(He was so jaded by 3 of his games being worth less than a $1 he didn’t sell anything)

Gamestop, I also dislike your Power Up card.  It always suckers me into spending more money.

This past week the boys were trying to figure out a way to get a new xbox game.  They pooled their money, went through all of their video games and set aside ones they were willing to trade in.  They went online and researched games.  Then they decided to log on to the Power UP website to print off a coupon with their accumulated points.  They couldn’t log on to the website.  We tried every email password in our house.  Finally, I made them call Gamestop.

Marshall:  Can’t you do it?

Me:  I could, but I’m not the one who wants to buy a game.

Marshall: Forget it.  I don’t want a coupon.

Mike:  Give me the phone.  I’ll call. (Mike is definitely Marshall’s Aaron to his Moses.  He’s always willing to do the talking.)

We practiced for quite some time:

Me:  Say “I have forgotten which email address I used to set up my Power UP card.

Mike:  Okay, “I’ve forgotten which Power up email address.

Me:  No, Say “I have forgotten which email address I used to set up my Power UP card.

Mike:  I don’t know my email address.

Me:  Say “I have forgotten which email address I used to set up my Power UP card.

Mike:  I don’t know how to login to my email address.

Me:  Say, exactly this. “I have forgotten which email address I used to set up my Power UP card.

Finally, Mike was confident enough to call.  He dialed the number and started dancing.

Mike:  I love this song.  It’s amazing! Hold on, let me put it on speaker phone for you guys.

It was elevator musak.

After about 5 minutes he hung up.

Mike:  This is stupid and taking too long.

Me:  Great! You’ve just lost your place in line.  Now you’ll have to wait twice as long.

Mike:  Fine.  (he calls back)  Yes!  My favorite song again!!!

Finally someone gets on the phone. He had a very thick English accent.  Between the english accent and Mike’s articulation there was a bit of a language barrier.  It was on speaker phone so that we could hear the whole conversation.  The poor guy.

Poor Guy:  Top of the morning to ya!  (Okay, he didn’t really say that.)  How are you doing?

Mike:  I’m doing great.

Poor Guy:  Wonderful.  How may I help you.

Mike:  I don’t know what my email address is to log on.  (We all clapped for mike)

Guy:  Okay, sir I can help you with that.  What is your Power UP number.

(mike reads it to him)

Wonderful.  Okay, I have found it.  I just need to ask you some questions.  What is your favorite video game?

Mike:  Please hold on, I’m thinking (and he tiptoes into the room where Dave is)

(whispering)Dad, what’s your favorite video game?

he yells to the guy:  “HOLD ON!  I’M STILL THINKING!”

Dave:  I don’t know, you guys set it up.  What’s your favorite video game?

Marshall into the phone:  Madden 10!  It’s Madden 10!

Poor Guy:  Yes, that is correct.  Okay the email address associated with your account is xxxx@xxxxxx.

Mike:  I know.

Poor Guy:  Please log in with that email address and your password.

Mike:  Yes, but it won’t let us log in with that.

Poor Guy:  Walks him through the whole process.

Mike:  I know but I can’t.

Poor Guy:  Walks him through the whole thing.

Dave:  Ask him to reset the password.

Mike:  Can you log in for me?

Dave:  RESET THE PASSWORD

Mike:  Can you RESET THE PASSWORD?

GUY:  Oh, yes.  I can reset the password.  I will send you an email with that information.

Mike:  I haven’t gotten it yet.

Guy:  Please be patient.

Mike:  Not yet.

Guy:  Please wait.

Mike:  Did you send it yet?

Guy:  I’m working on it.

Mike:  How about now.

Guy:  I will put you on hold for a short while.

Finally, Dave picked up the phone.  The poor guy was thoroughly relieved to hear another adult’s voice.

Though you win every other round, I think this one goes to me.

Of course, after this I was forced to accompany two boys to gamestop with their $15 coupon and spend an hour aimlessly wandering the store.  After nixing all the games rated T and M, I finally convinced them to buy Wipeout for the Kinect.  Negotiation terms ended up with me paying the difference.  We shall call it a tie.

 

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